Category: Marriage Jokes

I'll never forget the last words my wife said to me before she died...


She asked, "Honey, what are you going to do with that hammer?"

Category: Miscellaneous Jokes

A man was searching for a pure wife. He dated many ladies and when they went to bed he would show them is penis and ask each "what is this?" Each came back with the standard sexual answer of "love shaft" or "johnson" and he thought each knew too much about sex and rejected every one.

Finally he found a girl who passed his test. He asked what it was and she said "I'm not sure, I think it's called a wee-wee. Finally, he had found his perfect woman. He marries her and on their honey moon he thought he should tell her the sexual term for his penis.

"Honey," he began, "you should know this his called a cock."

"Oh no," replied his bride, "I have seen plenty of cocks and believe me that's a wee-wee!"

Category: Sex Jokes

How do you spot Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?

He is the only one there with the sesame seed buns!

Category: Musician Jokes

A Jazz pianist spends the entire first set staring at a hot woman in the front row. When on his break, he dashes to the men's room for some hand relief.

But he forgets to zip up. Halfway through his next set a woman approaches him and says, "Are you aware that your fly is open and you are dribbling on your shoes?"

"Aware of it!" the pianist declared indignantly. "I wrote it!"