Category: Police Jokes

While "flying" down the road yesterday (15 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot ass hole?" he asked.

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs. $45.00
The Look on Cop's Face...... PRICELESS.

Category: Doctors Jokes

Joe goes to he doctor for his physical exam. The doctor says to him, “Joe. I’m afraid you have a rare decease. “Is there a cure for it, doc?” Joe asks. “Yes. The only thing that can cure you is fresh breast milk.” Joe then advertises for a wet nurse. A gorgeous blonde responds to his ad and agrees to wet nurse him. At their first session, Joe is sucking away. The blonde starts to get turned on by Joe’s sucking prowess and discovers that she is highly aroused. “Is there anything else you want, Joe?” She moans, as she caresses herself. “Do you have chocolate cookies?