Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes

A guy walks into a bar, and shouts: " when I drink - everybody drinks! "
Everybody’s cheering him, and applauding like crazy. Feeling great - he finishes his beer, asks for another one, and shouts: " when I drink again - everybody drinks again! " once again - everybody's cheering him. He’s the hero of the bar. When he's done drinking, he pulls out his wallet, and shouts: " when I pay - everybody pays! "

Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes

A man goes to a bar, and sees a large girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her, and says: "wow - nice legs! " she's flattered, and replies: " you really think so? " the man says: " oh, definitely! Most tables would've collapsed by now.

Category: Dumb Criminals

A young black man decided to rob a house at the edge of the forest after he saw the dwellers put their luggage in the car and drive away. The neighbor saw him break the back window and enter the house at the end of the Cul-de-sac and called the police. When the police arrived the young man bolted out the back doors into the woods and ran all he could. All this time the police officer stayed on his trail, about to miles into the woods he dropped to the ground exhausted; he looks at the cop and asked: "listen, it's dark out here, I'm black and dressed in black, how could you track me down?" The cop replies: "Did you forget your shoes blink every time you take a step?"

Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes

An old Irishman was asked, "At your ripe age, what would you prefer to get.... Parkinson, or Alzheimer? "The Irishman answered: "definitely Parkinson, better to spill half an ounce of whiskey, than to forget where you keep the bottle!"