A woman gets out of the bath and puts on a towel. Her husband comes into the bathroom to go to the toilet. The doorbell rings. The woman goes to answer it wearing only the towel. She opens the door to find her next door neighbor Bob standing on the doorstep. Bob wolf whistles and says 'I'll give you £200 if you drop the towel'. The woman doesn't want to miss out on £200, so she drops the towel. Bob takes a good look at the naked woman then says his goodbyes and leaves. As the woman closes the door her husband comes down stairs. 'Who was that?' He asks. 'It was Bob' She says. 'Oh right, did he give you that £200 that he owes me?'

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for some condoms with insecticide. I think you mean "spermicidal," says the cashier. "No", he says, "I need condoms with insecticide, my wife has a bug up her ass and I'm going in after it."

A man was in a bar and overheard the milkman boasting that he had made love to all the women in his street apart from one. When he arrived home he related what he had heard to his wife. She said "I bet it's that stuck up bitch at No. 23.

Q.What did the stockbroker’s wife tell her husband when she cheated on him?
A.“Honey, I’ve gone public.”