A pilot is having dinner with a brunette and when they finish, they head to a hotel. He calls room service and asks for a bottle of red wine. When it arrives, he opens the bottle and puts some of the wine on the brunette’s lips and then starts kissing her. She asks what he’s doing and he replies, “When I have read meat, I must have red wine.” “Ooohh,” she says.
A little later he calls room service again and orders some white wine. It arrives in a few moments and he begins to splash it on the girls’ breasts and then starts kissing them. She asks what the white wine is for and replies, “When I have white meat, I must have white wine.”
“Ooohh, she says.
Eventually, he works his way down, pulls out a can of lighter fluid and a match, sprinkles it on her muff, and lights it on fire.
“Aahhh! Why the F…. did you do that!? She yells.
“When I go down, I want to go down in flames.” He replied.

An exhibitionist is waiting to board a plane and when he reaches the door the flight attendant asks to see the ticket to guide him to his seat, he opens his coat and exposes himself. The flight attendant says, “I’m sorry, sir, you have to show your ticket here, not your stub.