Three men are traveling across the desert when they come to the edge of a large cliff, too steep to climb down, and too far out of the way to go retrace their steps. An Indian Chief comes out of nowhere and tells them that they are like many, who must believe in themselves and transform themselves into creatures to get over the cliff and continue their journey. The first man thinks about it, runs to the edge of the cliff, and screams "Eagle!" The man immediately turns into an Eagle and soars down to the bottom of the cliff. The second man runs to the edge and screams, "Hawk!" He immediately turns into a hawk and soars down to the bottom of the cliff. The third man runs to the edge, trips, and screams "O shit!" and turns into a pile of shit and splatters at the bottom of the cliff

Some people come here to take a shit, I come here to leave one.

Once was a man from Bandoo, fell asleep in his canoe. He dreamed of Venus and played with penis and woke up with a hand full of goo!

You are holding your future in your hands, shake well after use and keep out of reach of children.