Q: Why was Santa at the Brothel?

A: Because he was a ho, ho, ho.

Every day a man walks his jackass to the market passing a police station. Upon nearing the door or entrance to the station he holds on to the jackass for dear life until he passes the door. The officer in charge observes this every time. One day he says to the man if there was a reason he held on to the jackass when they passed the station. The man said "I will tell you why if you promise not to arrest me" The Police officer agrees and promptly awaits the answer. The man says, " I am afraid my Jackass will join the Police Force".

Q. What is birth control pill?
A. The other thing a woman can put in her mouth to keep from becoming pregnant.

A cab driver sees a woman hailing him down a busy street. He pulls over and is surprised when she gets in and sits down besides him on the front seat. She gives him an address and they drive off. When they arrive at her address, the cab driver stops and shuts off the meter. “Okay,” he says, “that will be eight-fifty, please.”
The woman looks over and says to him, “To tell you the truth, I don’t have any money. But, she says, pulling her skirt up to her waist, “may be this will take care of it.”
The cabbie looks down and says, “Gee, lady don’t you have anything smaller?”