Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game (whose head gear partially blocked the view, three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move. In a very loud voice, the first guy said, “I think I’m going to move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns living there.” The second guy spoke up and said, “I want to go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns living there.” The third guy said, “I want to go to Idaho, there are only 25 nuns living there.” One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men and in a very sweet, calm voice said, “Why don’t you go to hell….. there are no nuns there.”

Which goalkeeper can jump higher than a crossbar?
All of them, a crossbar can't jump!

What part of a football pitch smells nicest?
The center spot!

Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space?
Because there is no atmosphere!