Stop and think, when the pilgrims landed in this country if they had shot a wildcat instead of a turkey, we would all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving!

FAMILY BAIT

A man in Florida, in his 80s, calls his son in New York one November day.

The father says to the son, "I hate to tell you, but we've got some troubles here in the house. Your mother and I can't stand each other anymore, and we're getting a divorce. I've had it! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I'm telling you now, so you and your sister shouldn't go into shock later when I move out."

He hangs up, and the son immediately calls his sister in the Hampton and tells her the news. The sister says, "I'll handle this."

She calls Florida and says to her father, "Don't do ANYTHING till we get there! We'll be there Wednesday night." The father agrees, "All right."

He hangs up the phone and hollers to his wife, "Okay, they're coming for Thanksgiving. Now, what are we going to tell them for Christmas?

What did Monica Lewinski do to Bill Clinton on Thanksgiving?
Gobble - Gobble?

Why do people buy their Thanksgiving Day Turkeys in Los Angeles?
Because they all had breast enlargements!