The American tourist stood staring at the highland sentry standing guard outside Edinburgh Castle. After a few minutes she went up to the sentry and asked “I’ve always wanted to find out what’s worn under the kilt.”
The sentry replied: “There is nothing worn, Ma’am, its all in perfect working order.”

An old man goes to the emergency room. “What seems to be the problem?” he is asked at the desk. “I can’t pee any more!” “Well, how old are you?’ “I am eighty-five-years old.”
“Well then sir, you have peed enough.”

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they won’t hump your leg at a cocktail party.

Why is there a cock on a weather vane?
Because the wind would blow right through a pussy.