"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.

A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held.

"I must say," says the executive, "your work history is terrible. You've been fired from every job."

"Yes," says the man.

"Well," continues the executive, "there's not much positive in that."

"Hey!" says the guy as he pokes the application. "At least I'm not a quitter."

Hung Chow calls work and says, "Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt, I no come work."
The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like that I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That always makes everything better and then I can go to work. You try that."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at
work soon. You got nice house.

A woman walks in to her boss’s office and she tells him "I heard all the other women in the office are suing you for sexual harassment. Since you have not harassed me I am suing you for discrimination