An elderly woman went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor told her she needed more activity and recommended sex three times a week. She asked the doctor, “Would you please, tell my husband?” The physician went out to the waiting room to tell her husband that his wife needed to have more activity and sex three times a week would be good. The elderly husband asked, “Which days?”
“How about Monday, Wednesday and Friday?” “I can bring her Mondays and Wednesdays, the man said, “but on Fridays she’ll have to take the bus.”

A minister is called to a home to perform a wedding. The elderly but anxious groom meets him at the door. The man of the cloth has a few questions.
Do you love her? “I guess” the man says.
Is she a good Christian woman? “I don’t know for sure,” he replies.
Does she have lots of money? “I doubt it,” the man says.
Then why are marrying her? “She can drive at night!!!!”

A patrolman was making his evening rounds in this small town. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?
“Heavens no, we bought it.” “Then why don’t you drive it away.” “We can’t drive.”
“Then why did you buy it?” “We were told that if we bought a used care here we’d get screwed……we’re just waiting.”

I am 80 so I visit the cemetery regularly to familiarize myself with the neighborhood.