Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came along and flashed them. One of the old ladies had a stroke...but the other couldn't reach.

Four old ladies were sitting on a park bench. One was Portuguese; one was French, one Italian, and the other Irish. The Portuguese woman said: "My son is a priest. People call him 'Father'". The French woman said: "My son is a Bishop. People call him 'Your Excellence'". The Italian woman said: "My son is the Pope. People call him 'Your Holiness'". Finally, it was the Irish woman's time to speak: "My son is a stripper and when he goes on stage, people say "OH, MY …G….!"

Two old women meet at bingo, "you're late this week Ethel," says on old woman to the other, "Did you come on the bus?" "Yes" replied Ethel, "but I managed to pass it off as an asthma attack!"

A minister comes to an eighty-one year old woman's house to give her communion every week. On the first week, the first thing he noticed was the beautiful polished oak organ in the woman's living room.
Well, on the third time he came, he noticed a fishbowl on the organ, but there was no fish and there was no water. He thought it a little odd, but let it go.
The fourth time he came. The fishbowl was filled with water, but still no fish.
On the fifth occasion, there was a condom floating in the bowl! The minister decided he just couldn’t let it go any more so he asked, "Edna, I’m sorry, but what's with the condom and the fish bowl?" she replied, "oh, I found that at the store”. The package said 'Place on organ and lubricate well and it will protect against diseases'.