Barely twenty minutes after teeing off a woman walks into the clubhouse and she's grimacing in pain.
"What's the matter?” The club pro asked
" I got stung by a bee" the woman replied
"Where" The club pro said
"Between the first and second holes"
"hmmmmm" The pro said " Sounds like your stance is a little too wide"

An American golfer flies to Italy for a golf tournament. He arrives in Rome, gets off the airplane with the golf bag strapped to his back and a map in hand looking for the golf course. He bumps into an Italian luggage handler employee.
Golfer: " excuse me I'm an American golfer and I'm looking for the golf course, do you know where it is”?
Italian: "Golf? What’s a daat”?
Golfer:" Golf.... its where to take the club putt the ball in the hole, make a lot of points and you win a lot of money..."
Italian: "Maybe you gotta da wrong Country..."
Golfer: "What do you mean.... you guys don’t play golf here in Italy?"
Italian: Sure we play da golf here...da wan we playa...is you put da club inside da hole.....and da balls stay on da outside...

A man is playing golf with his wife. They have just finished the first, when a ball comes flying over, knocking the woman to the ground. The husband couldn't revive his wife, so he ran all the way to the clubhouse. 'Is there a doctor in the house, my wife has just been hit by a golf ball' he called. 'I'm a doctor', chimed up an old chap at the bar, 'where was she hit?’ The man replied 'in between the first and the second holes'. The doctor said 'blimp, that won't leave much room for a bandage!’

Getting ready to go to the golf club with his grandfather, the young boy was looking around the trunk of the new BMW. “What’re these?” he asked, pulling a small sack from the golf bag after his grandfather had loaded his clubs.
“Those are tees,” the old man said. “You put your balls in them when you drive.”
“Golly,” the boy said, “those BMW people think of everything, don’t they?”