At Cambridge University, the final exams make up almost the students' entire grades. During one test, a student asks to be called on. When called on, the student says, "I want some ale and cakes!" The professor refuses, and the student repeats his request. When the professor refuses again, the student pulls out a rulebook that contains all of the school's regulations, dating back to the 13th century. He shows the professor that if a student should request an item or service during a test, it must be provided to him. The professor calls the office and the student is brought a hamburger and a soft drink.

The student completes his test, thinking, "I really beat these guys."

A week later, the student is fined 5 pounds for not carrying a sword during the test.

Teacher: "What's the nation's capital?"
Pupil: "Washington DC"
Teacher: "What does DC stood for?"
Pupil: "Dot com."

Here is a list of the ways professors grade their final exams:

DEPT OF STATISTICS:

All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.

DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY:

Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.

DEPT OF HISTORY:

All students get the same grade they got last year.

DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY:

What is a grade?

LAW SCHOOL:

Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.

DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:

Grades are variable.

DEPT OF LOGIC:

If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.

DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE:

Random number generator determines grade.

MUSIC DEPARTMENT:

Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respective

One day third graders were having a sex-ed class. The Instructor held up a picture and asked if any body knew what it was. No one said anything. Finally one little boy spoke up and said” I know what it is. It’s a Pxxxx." Surprised, the teacher asked,” How do you know that?" The little boy said,” Well my daddy has two. He uses one to pee and one to brush the babysitter's teeth."