A husband returned earlier from a business trip and he wanted to surprise his wife. The wife was, of course, in the bed with the neighbor - Peter. As she heard her husband coming home she told Peter to hide in the wardrobe. She lied down on the floor, pretending she had a heart attack. Her husband came in and saw his wife on the floor. He was very alarmed! At that moment his little kid came in saying: “Daddy, daddy! Peter is hiding in the wardrobe!”
The man went to the wardrobe and shouted: “You nerd! Instead helping me with my sick wife, you're playing hide-and-seek with the kid!”

A guy goes into a bar and tries to pick up on the barmaid. After many advances the barmaid gets fed up and tells him, “Look I'd really love to take you home but I'm on my menstrual cycle.” Not to be discouraged the fellow say’s “that’s all right I'll just follow you in my Hyundai".

One day at a zoo, they found a female gorilla was in heat. Knowing that they did not have a male gorilla around they decided to ask a groundskeeper if he would have sex with the female gorilla for 200 dollars. Let me think it over said the man. A couple of days later they approached the groundskeeper and asked him if he had decided one way or the other. He replied; “ I AM HAVING A VERY TOUGH TIME RAISING THE 200 DOLLARS"

One day a man was walking in the street. He met another man who asked him what happened to his ears as both were covered with bandages. He said "I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron, and so I burnt my ears". The man asked, "So what happened to your other ear?" He said, " That same stupid guy called again!