The cowboy walks into a bar and sits down and orders a beer. The bartender serves his beer then asks him, "So what do you do?" The cowboy answers, "Well sir I'm a cowboy." "Wow", said the bartender, "What exactly does a cowboy do?" "Well sir I work on a ranch all day, I ride horses, and heard cattle, I take care of the land and all the animals on the ranch." "That's very interesting said the bartender." Some time went by and a beautiful woman walks into the bar, sits down next to the cowboy and orders a drink. "So", said the bartender "What do you do?" With the cowboy listening in the woman says, "Well sir I'm a lesbian" "Interesting" said the bartender "What exactly is a lesbian? Well I wake up in the morning thinking about women. I eat breakfast thinking about women. I go through my day thinking about women. I go to bed thinking about women. I'm constantly thinking about women." "Interesting" says the bartender. Some time passes and the cowboy leaves that bar and goes to another bar. He sits down and orders a beer, and the bartender there says to him, "So sir what do you do?" The cowboy looks at him and says, "Well, this morning I was a cowboy, but to tell you the truth now I think I'm a lesbian!"

A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open one of these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said.

Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and he was really catching a lot of heat. About at his witís end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor." The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.

After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."

A very tall man was sitting next to a big woman in a mini bus that was traveling on a long and lonely highway for hours. It was beginning to rain; so all the windows were closed. The man needed to fart, but was scared that the woman would smell. Very gingerly he lifted his tail and farted silently, he smelt it and wanted to form a conversation with the woman just in case she smelt it. He looked out the window and said to her " You see that black cloud in the sky? That has rain behind it."
She then said," You smell that fart? That has shit behind it.

A thief broke into a Priest's house and the priest woke up hearing the noise and asked him politely what he was doing, for which the thief said he was looking for cash and jewelry. The priest said," My son, please wait I will switch on the lights let us both search for it."