A red neck is driving down a back road in Tennessee. A sign in front of a restaurant reads: Happy Hour Special. “Lobster Tail and Beer.”
“What a surprise” he says to himself, “my three favorite things!!”

Mom walked into the bathroom one day and found young Pete furiously scrubbing his dick with a toothbrush and toothpaste. “What the hell do you think you are doing, young man?! Asked his mom. “Don’t try to stop me”! Pete warned. “I’m gonna do this three times a day, because there is no way I’m gonna get a cavity that looks and smells as bad as Bill’s sister’s.”

A bride is going over the wedding planning with her mother. I’ve got something new and something borrowed, but don’t have anything old or blue.” “Don’t worry,” the mother says, “your father’s mother is coming and she hasn’t paid her heating bill in months.”

When her friends got word that Salome, a beautiful young starlet had married Jack, and elderly producer worth billions, they all sent her Get Will cards