A Jamaican fireman came home from work one day and said to his wife "Ya know something womon, we have a wonderful new system at de Fire Station...
Bell 1 rings, we put on our jackets.
Bell 2 rings, we slide down de pole.
Bell 3 rings, we jump on de engine and we are ready to go.
So from now on woman, when I say.......
'Bell one', I want you to strip naked.
When I say... 'Bell two', jump on de bed.
When I say ' Bell three', we are gonna make love all thru de night girl."
The next night he came home and shouted:
"Bell One!” and his wife stripped naked.
"Bell Two!” and she jumped on the bed.
"Bell Three!” and they started to make love.
After a few minutes, the wife yelled out "Bell Four!".
"WOMON... What the hell is 'Bell Four'?", he asked.
She replied:
"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE, MON; YOU AIN'T NO WHERE NEAR THE FIRE!!!!"

Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds eventually will mature.

“My wife is like the Mona Lisa”
“You mean she’s beautiful and has enigmatic smile?”
“No – she is flat as a canvas and ought to be in a museum

There were two potatoes sitting on a couch. How can you tell the difference between the slut and the prostitute?
One has a sticker that says I da ho.