A man was at the bar and every so often he would pour some beer on his hand. The woman sitting next to him asked; “what are you doing?” “Getting my date drunk,” he replied.

Two guys sitting at a bar, one says “Do you know that Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a night?" Crap! Says the other, I just joined the VFW!

A very swooshy gay guy walks into a rowdy roughneck bar. Right away the construction guys start catcalling. The gay guy paid them no never mind, he just kept swooshing on in and batting his eyes at all the men at the bar. This big 300-pound starts calling, "Hey Queen". This enraged the gay guy and he got up and ran to the end of the bar and knocked the 300-pound out cold. The gay guy said in a very masculine voice, "Tell him when he wakes my Mother alive". Then in a very effeminate voice he said, " I am a princess "

Pat comes home late one night and knocks on the door and his wife answers "Is that you Pat?. He answers "Yes it is me." She asks and all you drunk Pat? and he answrs" So Am I"