You Might Be a Redneck If
You've ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.
Your kid calls your sister, mom.
You think icing is what you do to your front steps before your mother in law comes over.
You've ever tried to drown a fish.
You've ever had to knock the spider webs down to use the bathroom.
You wonder why there isn't a hairstyle called "The Hat Line."

A chili day in October a man was on a ladder painting his trees stand for the up coming hunting season. As the man was painting another hunter came threw the woods and walked directly under the ladder in which the man was painting on. Bumping the ladder as the hunter passed a can of paint came crashing down towards the hunter below. The man on the ladder suddenly shouted, " QUACK,QUACK, GOBBLE GOBBLE!" The can of paint hit the hunter below covering him in green paint. The hunter furiously yelled at the man. " Why didn’t you worn me? " the Man Replied, " I did, I told you to duck, turkey!

...You've ever used a bathtub as a punch bowl.

...You broke a toe when you dropped your belt buckle on it.

...You've ever worn flip-flops to a funeral home.

...You have visitation rights to a dog.

...You continue to show your cleavage years after anyone wants to see it.

...You can't remember where your lawn mower is.

...You've ever flirted over a drive-thru window speaker.

A redneck opened his toolbox. It had 1 roll of duct tape and 14 coat hangers. His friend asked, "What are the hangers for?" The redneck said "everything the duct tape don't fix."