Add in the personals section of a local paper:
A, tall well-built woman with great
Sense of humor, who can cook frog
legs and who really likes a good fuc-
hsia garden, classical musical, and tal-
king without getting too serious.

Please read only lines 1,3 and 5.

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat.
As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the bus driver, I have a dead pussy.
The bus driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, “Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.”

Two women were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, “Seems like all John and I do anymore is fight. I’ve been so upset I have lost ten pounds.” “Why don’t you just leave him then?” asked her friend. “Oh! Not yet,” the first replied. “I’d like to lose another fifteen to twenty pounds first.”

A woman with really hairy underarms boards a crowded bus. Unable to find a seat, she settles for hanging onto one of the poles. A drunken man next to her stares for a few minutes, and then he says, “I love a woman that does aerobics.” The woman replies angrily, “I do not do aerobics!” The man then looks at the woman and says, “Then how did you get your leg up so high?”