It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something from the floor while you get up.

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, until you lose.

A man named Mr. Lipschitz was applying for a job at a large conglomerate. Mr. Lipschitz was highly qualified for the position he was seeking but the interviewer was averse to the man's name. The job would be his, the interviewer said if Mr. Lipschitz would be willing to change his name. A month later Mr. Lipschitz, reappeared at his interview site, with a name change, per suggestion. The interviewer was glad to see the applicant again but when he found out that Mr. Lipschitz had changed his name, he was very dismayed and asked him to reclaim his original name. The interviewer told him the reason, "I've gotten you the position as Director of Steer manure on my affiliate's farm."

Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, “Boy, business sucks. If I don’t sell more cars this month I’m going to lose my ass.” Then he noticed a beautiful girl sitting two stools away. Immediately, he apologized for his bad choice of words. “That’s okay,” she said, “If I don’t sell more ass this month, I’m going to lose my car.”

During the morning coffee break, the boss discovered a pair of very junior executives making love in the storeroom. “How can you explain this?” the boss bellowed.
“Well,” said Ms. Smith, straightening her skirt, “neither of us drinks coffee.”