Doctor Phil had known many interns during his long career, but none ever made as many misdiagnoses as young Charles. After making the rounds one day, and watching him make a dozen wrong diagnoses Phil took the intern aside. “Tell me,” the doctor asked, “have your ever considered working somewhere else?” “Where, for instance?” asked the intern. “Wall Street” replied Phil.

A new CEO of a company decided to make some changes in his company. He was going to let the workforce know he means business. While he was walking the floor he noticed a man leaning against a wall. He approached him and said, " how much do you make a week". The man said $400.00 The CEO gave him $1,600.00 and said, "leave here and don't ever come back." The man took the money and did as he was told. The CEO asked an employee, "what did that guy do around here anyway?"
The employee replied; "That was the Pizza delivery guy."

A man sits down in a restaurant and within a minute he knocks his spoon on the floor. The waiter was quick to pull a spoon out of his coat pocket and replace it for the one that had fallen on the floor. The patron comments on how fast he was able to replace the spoon. The waiter explained the restaurant owner had hired an efficiency expert to study the restaurant operation and make recommendations. One recommendation was for all wait staff to carry an extra spoon in their pocket because 78 percent of patrons will knock the spoon off the table.
The patron was notably impressed and continued with his meal. While eating he noted the waiter had a small length of string attached to the zipper of his pants. The patron asked the waiter what the string was used for, to which the waiter explained that was another efficiency recommendation by the expert. By fastening a string to the zipper and the front of his underpants he could unzip and never have to touch anything, therefore reducing the time in the bathroom and not needing to wash their hands before returning to work.
The patron thought about it and commented, how do you get everything back in? To which the waiter answered, I am not sure about the other waiters - I use the spoon.

Paddy the Electrician was sacked from the Prison Service today for refusing to repair the Electric Chair. He said it was a DEATH TRAP!