Two guys are sitting in a bar having a beer, one was an older gent and the other a younger biker. After a few beers the biker asked the old boy, Hey Pops? Is it true when ya get old and are taking a bath your nuts float? The Old man replied,” Only when they’re empty Sonny.” The barmaid only a few steps away overheard the conversation and curiously asked the Old Gent! "Well sir, you seem to know your stuff so tell me! How can you tell when a woman is getting Old??? Oh, he laughed, That’s easy, when they’re lying on they’re back you can’t see their armpits. Huh, she says and why is that? Because her tits are lying in there!!!!!!!!!

It has recently been brought to our attention that a definite parallel exists between a Martini and woman’s breasts. One is not enough, and three are too many.

How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.

Bill asks: why was booze invented?
Ted says: So ugly people can get laid, too.