A young couple, on the brink of divorce, visits a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife, “What’s the problem?” She responds, “My husband suffers from premature ejaculation.” The counselor turns to her husband and inquires, “Is that true?” The husband replies, “Well not exactly, she is the one that suffers, not me.”

A 97 year old man visits his doctor and says, “Doc. I want my sex drive lowered.”
“Sir, replied the doctor, “You are 97. Don’t you think your sex drive is all in your head?”
“You are darned right it is!” replied the old man. “That’s why I want lowered!”

She was standing in the kitchen
Preparing to boil eggs for breakfast,
wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in almost awake,
She turned and said softly,
'You've got to make love to me this very moment.'
My eyes lit up and I thought,
'I am either still dreaming or
this is going to be my lucky day.'
Not wanting to lose the moment,
I embraced her and then gave it my all;
right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said,
'Thanks,'
and returned to the stove, her 'T' shirt
still around her neck.
A little puzzled, I asked,
'What was that all about?'
She explained. .
'The egg timer is broken'

“Mother,” the young woman asked, “remember when you told me the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach?” “Sure,” her mother replied.
“Well,” the girl went on, “last night I think I may have found a new route.”