The husband was angry when he found out that his wife
had been cheating on him.
He shouts at her, “I will play second fiddle to no one!"
She replies, "Second fiddle? You're lucky you're still in the band!"!

Husband enters the bedroom with an aspirin and a glass of water, where his wife is reading. He says here's your aspirin Dear. The wife says: Why the aspirin? I don't have a headache.
He says: Gotcha!

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After All, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was complete, everyone was astounded at the man's new face.
He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful Beauty!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.
How can I possibly repay you?"

"My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

Old Jack had moments to live. At his beside were his family-his wife has four sons, three of which had blonde hair, the other ginger.
''Clara, I’ve always wondered why one of our sons had red hair. Tell me truthfully, is he really my son?''
Clara put her hand on her heart and fervently swore that yes, he was his son.
''Oh thank goodness,'' croaked the old man and he died with a smile on his face.
As the family left, the room, the wife sighed deeply,'' Good thing he didn’t ask about the other three.''