TWO NEW ADDITIONS TO THE PERIODIC TABLE OF ELEMENTS

Element Name: WOMANIUM
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)

Physical properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts when treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands!

Element Name: MANIUM
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/ - 50)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged period of time. Neuralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to
produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell

Q.Why are women similar to a tropical hurricane ?
A.When they arrive they're wet and warm, when they leave they take your house and car.

Q.How many Women does it take to change a light bulb?

A.None, they just sit there and bitch about it!

Q. What did one saggy boob say to the other?
A. If we don’t get some support around here, people are going to think, we are nuts!