A Florida farmer was working his field one day, and the gallinipper mosquitoes were coming in thicker, faster, and bigger by the minute. "Where (slap, slap) are these big mosquitoes coming from?” he asked. But they just came bigger and faster. "Where are these @**! + Big mosquitoes coming from? " he exclaimed
But they came bigger, thicker, and faster. "Where are these @@!!%%*+/!! (Slap, slap) big mosquitoes coming from? “He demanded. Just then, two planes from Homestead Air Force base passed locked in a refueling operation. "Ah!” he exclaimed. "I always wanted to know where those $@##++**!!/@**!! Big mosquitoes came from, and now I've found out!"

A farmer is giving his wife last-minute instructions before heading to town to do chores: “A guy will be along this afternoon to inseminate one of the cows. I’ve hung a nail by the right stall so you’ll know which one I want him to impregnate. “Satisfied that his wife had the instructions clear, the farmer leaves for town. That afternoon, the inseminator arrives and the wife dutifully takes him out to the barn and directly to the stall with the nail. “This is the cow right here,” she tell him.
“What’s the nail for?” “I guess it’s to hang up your pants.”

A farmer spends $15,000 on a young registered Black Angus bull to mate with his cows. He puts the bull out with the herd, but the animal just eats grass. He won’t even look at the cows. The farmer feels cheated, so he brings in the local vet to check out the bull. The bull is very healthy, the vet explains, but possibly just a little young. So he gives the farmer pills to feed the bull once per day. It will help with the urge to mate. After a few days, the bull starts to service a few cows, and within a week, every cow on the farm. The bull even breaks through the fence and breeds with all of the neighbor’s cows. He turns into a mating machine. A friend of the farmer asks exactly what the vet gave the bull to cause such a drastic change.
“I don’t know exactly what was in those pills,” the farmer says. “All I can tell you is they work and they taste like peppermint.”

The farm had been mortgage, and gladly, to give daughter a college education. Now, driving home from the station after meeting her at the train, farmer Hinds was greatly disturbed when his daughter whispered confidentially, “I have a confession to make, Pa- I ain’t a virgin no more.”
The old man shook his head sadly. “After all the sacrifices your Ma and I made to give you a good education, you still say ‘ain’t!”