There was an Indian, a caveman, and a cowboy. One day they ran out of food and decided to go hunting. The Indian went out and got a bear, the caveman and the cowboy said, how did you get that? He said,” Me find tracks me follow tracks me get bear." So the next day the cowboy went out and got a deer, the caveman said,” How did you get that? He said "Me find tracks me follow tracks me get deer." So when the caveman got backs from his hunt all bloody, and disfigured. The Indian and cowboy said,” How did that happen?" The caveman replied, "Me find tracks, me follow tracks me get hit by train!!"

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two
prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection.
His depression is made worse by the fact that,
from the next room, he hears his little friend
shouting out cries of
"Here I come again ...ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long.
In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"
The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I just couldn't get a hard on."
The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?"

I couldn't even get on the f**king bed."

The Birth Of A Candy Bar

One Payday, Mr. Good Bar wanted a Bit O’ Honey. So he
took Miss Hershey behind the Powerhouse, on the corner
of Clark Street and Fifth Avenue. He began to feel her
Mounds and it was pure Almond Joy which made his
Tootsie Roll. He let out a Snicker as his Butterfinger
went up her Kit Kat and caused a Milky Way.
She screamed, “Oh Henry, I am Forever Yours” and
she squeezed his Peter Paul and caressed his Zagnuts.
Miss Hershey said, “You’re even better than the
3 Musketeers.” Soon she was a little bit Chunky
and nine months later she had a Baby Ruth.

A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" Bond explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically." The lady says, "What's it telling you now?" "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I'm wearing panties!" Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's an hour fast."