A priest and a nun were traveling through a desert on a camel. After hours of traveling the camel dies. The priest and the nun make camp, and after days they realize that they are going to die. So the priest tells the nun, “sister I have never seen a woman naked and I was wondering if I could see you naked". The nun says yes and takes off her clothes. Then the nun tells the priest, “Father I have never seen a man naked and I was wondering if I could see you naked". The priest says yes and takes off his clothes. Then the nun sees the priest's penis and says, “what is that?” and the priest says, “it’s my holy spirit, if I stick it in you it gives life” and the nun says, “don’t stick it in me, stick it in the camel".

A good political decision is just like a miniskirt.
Short enough to sustain the interest & long enough to cover the subject.

This woman brought her dog to the doctor's office. She said
"Doc, my dog used to listen to me all the time. But now, he NEVER listens to me. What's wrong with my doggie?"
The doctor looked into the dog's ears and then said "Why, there's nothing wrong with your dog at all. It's not listening to you because its ears are filled with hair. What you do, is go over to that apothecary over there, and buy some nair, put the nair into the dog's ears, and the hair should remove by spraying water into its ears afterwards."
So the woman brought her dog home, and then went to the apothecary to buy the nair. The woman walked into the store. The store clerk asked her what she would like to buy.
"I'm looking for some nair to remove hair."
The store clerk then replied, "Well, if you are looking to remove hair from your armpits, then you want to avoid shaving for a few days, because the nair won't work."
Then the woman replied "Oh I'm not buying the nair for my armpits."
Then the store clerk said "Well, if you're buying the nair for your legs, you want to avoid scrubbing with soap, or shaving your legs because the nair won't work if you do this."
The woman then continued "Oh but I'm not buying the nair for my legs either." Then the store clerk said, "Well what ARE you buying the nair for?"
The woman said "I'm buying the nair for my shnowzer!" The store clerk then replied, " Well, you're going to want to avoid riding a bicycle because the seat will affect the nair, and it won't work."

Q.What's a fart?

A.Turd honking to pass!