This guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 7 shots of vodka. The bartender says, wow must be a big occasion. The guy says ya I got my first blowjob. The bartender says how about I give you an eight one on the house. The guy says if 7 shots wont get rid of the taste nothing will.

A big man walks into a bar with a large duffel bag on his shoulder. He sits it on the bar and orders a few shots. He slugs the shots, all the while bragging that he's the toughest man in the world. After a few more shots and more rambling, the man opens his bag and pulls out a large alligator. He drops his pants, and lets the alligator latch onto his penis. He gives it a shake for good measure, and pokes it in he eye to make it release him. The whole bar is amazed. "There, you see, I’m the toughest man in the world. Anyone else wanna try that?" A man in the corner lisps " I will, but do you have to poke me in the eye?"

Sitting at the bar and admiring the young woman tucked into her skin-tight leather pants, the single gentleman asked, “You’ve got to tell me, miss, how anyone gets into those pants.”
“Well,” she smiled, “he starts by buying me a drink,”

Two cowboys walk into a bar and sit down at a table. All of a sudden a woman behind them starts to choke. After about a few seconds one of the cowboys turned around and asked her if she could breath. "No", (she said quietly.) So he got up and went behind her and lifted up her skirt and pulled it down. He took his tongue and licked her crack. Surprised by the shock, she popped the piece of food right out of her mouth. The cowboy sat back down and said to the other, "Always heard of the Hindlick, but never seen anybody do it before."