Q. What do lesbians and auto mechanics have in common?
A. Snap-On Tools

One day, during English class, Miss Figpot asked her
class, "Who can tell me the meaning of indifferent?"

The class fidgets a little, and they all look at one another.

No one knows. Finally, Little Johnny puts up his hand.
The teacher, hesitant to call on him because of his
propensity for foul language and sexual innuendo, looks
for another student to ask. Finally, when no one else
raises their hand, she says, "Yes, Johnny?"

"Miss Figpot, it's means lovely."

Relieved, but a little puzzled, the teacher says, "Johnny,
can you explain why you think indifferent means lovely?"

"Sure, teach. Last night when I was in bed, I heard
Mommy say, 'That's lovely'. Then Daddy said, 'Yep, it's in
different.'"

A man and his girlfriend are making love in his car for the first time.
Afterwards the man said, " If I knew you were a virgin, I would have been more tender. The girl said coolly "Oh, if you were not so extremely anxious, I would’ve had time to take off my silk stockings.

Superman decides to go out on the town one evening - flies over to the bat cave and asks Batman out for a beer. Batman replies: "Sorry, I can't come out tonight - the bat mobile is broken down, I have to fix it to fight crime tomorrow". Superman takes off and flies over to Spiderman to see if he wants to go out for a beer. Spiderman says: "No thanks, the web is not shooting properly, I have to fix it to fight crime tomorrow." Superman then decides to fly over to Wonder-woman’s. He arrives to find Wonder-woman on her roof completely naked on her back. Superman thinks to himself that he could fly down there quicker than the speed of light, do his business and fly away before she realizes what has happened. So he flies down, does his business and takes off. Wonder woman says: "what the hell was that?" and then the Invisible man says: "I don't know, but my butt is surely burning!"