Q. What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A. An ass that makes you cry!

On their last night of a camping trip this two doctors are bragging about their accomplishments. One said "I am best surgeon around. To prove it I will climb this tree and perform a tonsillectomy on the owl above us." So he climbs the tree with trusty pocket knife and performs the operation. Owl is still sleeping. The other doctor replied, "I believe I am better than you. Loan me your pocket knife and I will castrate the same owl". Oh no, that is much too sensitive operation. The owl will awaken and scratch your eyes out. Never-the-less doctor #2 climbs the tree and performs an uneventful castration. The next morning the doctors go back to the city. Two weeks later a young owl landed on the same branch. The wise old owl who received the operations spoke out: I wouldn't go to sleep on that branch if I were you. Why not, says the young owl. Well, I went to sleep there two weeks ago and ever since I have not been able to hoot worth a puck or puck worth a hoot.

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.

"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."

What did the rooster say to his pals when coming out of the hen house? Well, that's one piece Colonel Sanders won't get!