A woman calls her butler into her bedroom, “Jay,” she says.
“Yes, madam? Answers the butler.
“Jay, take off my dress.”
“Yes, madam,” he says, and removes the dress.
“Jay, take off my bra.”
“Yes, madam,” he says, and he takes off her bra.
“Now, Jay, take off my shoes and stockings.”
“Yes, madam,” he says as he removes her shoes and stockings.
“Now,” says the woman, “take off my panties. And I’m warning you, Jay: You’re going to lose your job if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again.”

Why does a squirrel swim on his back?
To keep his nuts dry.

Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One--he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

A man And woman are kissing and petting in a car. The woman asks the man. “Would you like to see where I was operated on for appendix"? "No", replies the man. "I can't stand hospitals".