An old woman is sitting in a rocking chair on her porch, petting her cat, Fu-Fu.
A fairy appears and says, ”I’m here to grant you three wishes.”
The old woman says, “I wish I was twenty-years old and beautiful again.” Poof! She is.
“Now I wish I had a million dollars and this old house was a mansion.” Poof! Done.
“And now I wish that Fu-Fu was the handsomest man ever and deeply in love with me.”
Poof! Suddenly she’s in the arms of a gorgeous man. He kisses her and says, “Darling, aren’t you sorry you had me fixed?”

Q: What is the smallest Hotel in the world
A: A Pussy because you half to leave you bags out side!!!

"I've got to get to the doctor and renew my prescription of birth control pills said Edna to Priscilla.
"But I thought you said your husband had a vasectomy," Priscilla responded.
"He did. That's why I can't afford to get pregnant."

A nun and a priest are traveling across the desert on a camel but when they are halfway across the camel dies. After a while the nun turns to the priest and says, “Since we are obviously going to die here, maybe I can grant you a last request. Is there anything that as a man you have always wanted to do but that as a priest you haven’t been able?”

The priest thinks about this and says, “Well I’ve always wondered what a woman looks like naked.”

So the nun disrobes and explains what everything is.

Once the nun is dressed again the priest says to her, “Fair’s fair, is there anything that as a woman you have always wanted to do but that as a nun you haven’t been able?”

The nun replies, “Well I’ve always wondered what a man looks like naked.”

Well the priest, being a bit shy, disrobes rather slowly. He is just taking his pants down when the nun, who is a bit impatient, says, “Here, what’s that?”

The priest, all embarrassed and flustered replies, “That’s the er, the er, the giver of life.”

At which the nun jumps up and shouts, “Well what the heck are we doing sitting around here then? Hurry up and do something with that camel and let’s get out of here.”