Did you hear about the frustrated seamstress?
She could not mend-straight

A local hospital is now offering a fast, in-and-out breast exam. It's called "Wham Bam Mammogram."

Q. What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
A. Ten minutes of silence.

Stacy is sitting at the bar, talking with her girlfriends about what makes the perfect mate. “The man I marry,” she says, “must be a shining light. He must be musical, tell jokes, sing, and stay home at night!”
Lisa, the elderly barmaid, overhears this and says, “Honey, it sounds like you don’t need a man. You need a TV!”