Three female members of an exclusive country club walked into the women’s shower room and wee shocked to see the lower part of a man’s anatomy behind the door of one of the shower stalls. “Well!” said one of the ladies, “that certainly is not my husband!’
The second one added, “He isn’t mine, either.” And the third, the youngest of the three, said, “Hell, he isn’t even a member of this club!

An old couple walks into the bar, and the husband goes over and starts flirting with some young women. And the bartender ways to the wife, “Doesn’t it bother you that your husband is always making passes at the younger women around here?”
“No, no, not really,” the wife says. “I mean, dogs chase cars, but that doesn’t mean they know how to drive.”

Q. If you were to melt down one tire for each time you had sex, and during the year
you melted 365 tires, what would you call it?
A. GOODYEAR!

A drag queen walks into a Catholic church as the priest is coming down the aisle swinging the incense pot. And he says to the priest, “Oh, honey I love your dress, but did you know your handbag’s on fire?”