Wife coming down the stairs ask her husband lying on a sofa what he has been doing.
He replied, 'Killing Flies'.
She said, 'How many you have killed so far ?'
He, 'Five, three males and two females'
She, 'How did you figure that out ?'
He, 'Three were sitting on the Remote and Two were sitting on the phone'.

This Indian lad was trying to understand the reason why he and his sibling had the names they had so he asked his mother: “Mom, why is my brother's name Windstorm?”
She answered: Because he was conceived during a windstorm.
Well, why is my sister's name Moonshine? She answered again: Because she was conceived when the moon was shining.
The poor little boy looked sad and confused.
His mother said, ‘‘why are you so sad and confused Broken rubber?''

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.
The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you."

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"

"Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

An 8 year old and his 6 year old brother are up in their bedroom, and the 8 year old turns to his brother and say's to him “I think we are getting older now, so I think we should start using swear words”, the 6 year old nodding his head in agreement replies “yes I think your right, we should start tomorrow morning” The next morning arrives and the mother calls them both down for breakfast and asks the 8 year old what he would like for breakfast and he replies "Shit mum, I think I'll have Co-Co Pop’s”, and before he knew it,WHACK! Up the backside and he is sent off crying his eyes out back to his bedroom. The mother then turns to the younger brother and say’s “And what would you like for breakfast young man”, to which he replies, “Gee mum, I don't know, but you can bet your fucking arse it isn't going to be Co-Co Pops"!!!!