An extremely attractive, young "Lady of the Evening", walked into the hotel bar. She was immediately stunned, by the most attractive man (sitting at the bar) she had ever seen, tall, blond hair, rippling muscles, and the face of Adonis. It took a few minutes, for her to gather her wits, and approach this amazing "prospect". "Buy a girl a drink?" She cooed. "Sure", he replied, "Especially for one as pretty as YOU!" Thanking her lucky stars, she engaged him in conversation - finally getting around to, "THE QUESTION!""Darling", he replied "I would TRULY love to spend the night, with you, and, NO, money is no object. BUT, you see, I am saving myself, for THE woman I TRULY love, and for our wedding night." "My...What an ADMIRABLE attitude," she replied - "That MUST be terribly hard to maintain.""Not really," he replied, "But it is REALLY driving my WIFE nuts!!!"

Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

What did the potato chip say to the battery?
"If you're Ever-Ready I'm Frit-o-Lay"

Reminiscing about their unruly youth, a former hippie asked a onetime flower child, “say, were you ever picked up by the fuzz?”
“No,” she replied, “but I bet it’d hurt.”