A little boy was taking a shower with his mother. She told him not to look up or down. He looked up any way and asked "mommy what are those?” She replied, "Those are mommy’s headlights". Then he looked down and asked "mommy what is that?” She replied "that is mommy’s garden". Later the boy was taking a shower with his father. He told the boy not to look down, but he looked down any way. The boy asked "daddy what’s that?” His father replied, "That’s daddy’s snake". That night when the boy was in bed he heard noises coming from his parents room. He ran in and yelled "mommy turn on your headlights there’s a snake in your garden!"

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?" Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation, erections, wet-dreams...and he thinks, what the hell, and goes on to tell her the works. He covers a wide and varied assortment of sub topics and by the time he's finished, his daughter is somewhat awestruck with this sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge. Her father finally asks: "So what did you want to know about sex for?" "Oh, mommy said to tell you lunch would be ready in a couple of sec's..."

Children in the back seat of the car cause accidents.
Accidents in the back seat of the car cause children.

Little Jimmy walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his p***s in preparation of sex with his wife.
Jimmy's father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny asked curiously 'What ya doin dad?'
His father quickly replied, 'I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed.'
To which Little Jimmy replied 'What ya gonna do, screw him?'