On a country road, a speeder hit and killed a dog. The dog's owner stood nearby, a gun in his hand.

The speeder said, "Looks as if I killed your dog."

"Sure does."

"I'm sorry. Was it a valuable dog?"

"I wouldn't say that."

"Well, suppose I gave you a hundred dollars. Would that be enough?"

"Well, I don't know."

"Two hundred dollars. That should do it."

"Sounds good."

The speeder reached into his pocket and came up with the money. Pressing it into the man's hand, he said, "I'm sorry I spoiled your plans to go hunting."

"I wasn't going hunting. I was heading out to the woods to shoot that mangy dog."

This guy goes into a bar looking for a little action. Surveying the place, things look pretty good. There are several good-looking women and only one little baldheaded guy sitting at the other end of the bar.
He's there for a few minutes when a beautiful red head comes up to the little old guy, whispers something in his ear and they leave the place together.
The next night he comes in, is there for a few minutes when a fabulous blond comes up to the little old guy and they leave together.
This goes on for several nights, and the guy is really perplexed, so he asks the bartender what this little old guy has.
The bartender replies "I don't know. He comes in here every night, orders a beer and just sits there licking his eyebrows."

Do you know why men like fishing so much?
Because it makes their hands smell like pussy................

1. Between the ages of 18 and 32...Tri-weekly.
2. Between the ages of 32 and 50...Try, weekly.
3. Over 50...Try, weakly.