A man is driving along and a police man stops him and says
"Alcohol, drugs?"
And the man says
"No thanks officer I've got everything"
Then he drives off!

It is Judgment day, and Al Gore, Bill Clinton and Barrack Obama go to heaven.
God addresses Al Gore first. ''Al, what do you believe in?''
Al replies: "Well, I believe that I won that election, but that it
was your will that I did not serve as President but rather to go on to teach the world about the threat of Global Warming. And I've now come to understand that.''
God thinks for a second and says: "Very good, Al. Come and sit at my left hand.''

God then addresses Bill Clinton. "Bill, what do you believe in?''
Bill replies: "I believe in forgiveness, Lord. I've sinned, but I've never held a grudge against my fellow man, and I hope no grudges are held against me.''
God thinks for a second and says: "You are forgiven, my son. Come and sit at my right hand.''

Then God addresses Barrack Obama. "Barrack, what do you believe in?"
Obama replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."

Grover said, "Havin' some problems with circle flies, enit?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well yeah, if that's what they are... I never heard of circle flies."
So Grover says, "Circle flies are common on Pine Ridge, ya know. They say they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse’s back end?"
Then Grover says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse’s back end."
The trooper then says, "Well, that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, Grover says, "Hard to fool them flies though, enit?"

A policeman brings a man to the police station and says to the desk sergeant: “We arrested this man beating the living daylights out of some poor guy for no reason at all. What should we charge him with?” “Impersonating a police officer,” replied the sergeant.