"Baking Making "

Ingredients:

2 Loving eyes.
2 Loving arms
2 Well shaped legs
2 Firm milk containers
1 Fur lined mixing bowl
2 Large nuts
1 Large banana
Method:
Look into loving eyes.
Fold in loving arms
Spread well shaped legs
Squeeze and massage milk containers gently until fur lined milking bowl is well greased. Check frequently with middle finger.
Add banana - work in and out until well creamed.
Cover with nuts and sigh with relief.
Cake done when banana becomes soft. Be sure to wash mixing utensils and don't lick the bowl!
P.S. If cake begins to rise, leave town immediately!!!!

Q. Why are men smarter during sex?

A. Because they are plugged into a genious

A fly is hovering 6 inches above a lake. In the lake is a salmon and the salmon thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches I can jump out and eat it". Now on the edge of the lake there is a bear and the bear thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches the salmon will jump out to get it then I can grab the salmon and eat it". Just behind the bear is a hunter and the hunter thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches the salmon will jump out to get it then the bear will grab the salmon and while it's distracted I can shot it". Behind the hunter is a mouse and the mouse thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches the salmon will jump out to get it then the bear will grab the salmon, the hunter will move forward to shot it, drop his sandwiches and I’ve got my tea", behind the mouse is a cat and the cat thinks, " If that fly drops 6 inches the salmon will jump out to get it then the bear will grab the salmon, the hunter will move forward to shoot it, drop his sandwiches, the mouse will grab the sandwiches and while it's distracted I can grab it and eat it". Just as the cat thinks this the fly drops 6 inches, the salmon jumps out, eats it then the bear eats the salmon the hunter shoots the bear, drops his sandwiches the mouse grabs the sandwiches and the cat pounces on the mouse but misses and falls in the lake. The morale of the story, "if a fly drops 6 inches you'll end up with a wet pussy"

A man walks into a drug store with his 13-year old
son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are
these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms,
son....Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see," replied the boy
pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are
there 3 in this package?" The Dad replies, "Those are for high school
boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." "Cool!" says
the boy.

He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for
college boys." The dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO
for Sunday." WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........