3- guys come across a doughnut shop and notice a sign that says "SPECIAL OF THE DAY...One at a time)" so with that the first guy goes in. 10 minutes later he comes out with a big smile on his face. "So what happened?” the other 2 asked. The man replied, "Dang, I went in and there were these 3 fine ass ladies..."
"Yeah, yeah" said the other 2, eager to find out what went on."...They told me to take off my pants..."
"uh-huh,-uh-huh"
"...and they made me lay on this table..."
"mm-hmm"
"...they undressed me until I was fully naked..."
"uh-huh"
"...well, then...they went down there...and they put a doughnut..."
"whaaat...?"
"...and they put the whipped cream..."
"and then, and then?"
"...and the chocolate..."
"ooooh"
"...and the sprinkles..."
"and then? and then?"
"...and they ate it!!! It felt sooo good!!"
"Oh my goodness I can’t wait!" said the other 2.
The second guy goes in and comes out with the same smile and the same amazing story.
Finally, the 3rd guy goes in and 2 minutes later he comes out looking down and sad.
"what happened dude?" the other 2 asked.
the man looked up at them with his sad face and said,” They didn't have cheerios."

What did one testicle say to the other?
"Don't mind the asshole behind us! It's the PRICK ahead we're working for!

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Fire truck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong... "

Inside this 30-year-old actor lives Stanley the sperm cell along with about a million other sperm cells. We focus on Stanley because, for once, he wants to be the sperm that fertilizes the egg. He trains diligently every day. He swims around, lift weights, that kind of stuff. An old sperm cell comes up to him and asks the reason for all the exercise and Stanley replies, "I want to fertilize the egg." The old sperm cell tells young Stanley that if he is the one to do this he must say, "Hi, I'm sperm." to which the egg should reply, "Hi, I'm egg." then you can fertilize it. Stanley thanks him and the old sperm wishes him luck. Finally, the big day comes. It gets warm and somewhat vibrantly inside and then they're off. Millions of sperm are swimming fiercely with none other than Stanley in the lead. He's so proud of himself. As the distance between him and the other sperm grow, he notices a big red ball. He knows this is the egg and he swims his heart out to finish the race. He approaches the red ball and says, like the old sperm told him to, "Hi, I'm sperm." the big red ball replied, "Hi, I'm tonsil."