The applicant for life insurance was finding it difficult to fill out the application. The salesman asked what the trouble was, and the man said that he couldn't answer the question about the cause of death of his father.
The salesman wanted to know why. After some embarrassment the client explained that his father had been hanged.

The salesman pondered for a moment. "Just write: 'Father was taking part in a public function when the platform gave way.'"

A man walks into a drugstore where a clerk greets him, "can I help you, sir?" the man replies, "I’m looking for some deodorant"
"Oh", says the clerk "ball or aerosol?"
"Neither" says the man "I want it for my armpits"

A traveling salesman checks into a futuristic motel. Realizing his hair needs cutting, he calls the desk clerk to ask if there's a barber on the premises.
"I'm afraid not sir," the clerk tells him, "but there's a vending machine down the hall that should be able to help you".
Intrigued, the salesman finds the machine with the sign HAIRCUTS $10.00. He is skeptical but puts in $10 and sticks his head in. The machine starts to whirl and buzz. Fifteen seconds later, he pulls out his head to reveal the best haircut of his life!
Looking around, he sees another machine with the sign MANICURES $10.00. "Why not", he thinks and inserts his hands into the opening. Fifteen seconds later, he pulls them out to find they're perfectly manicured.
Amazed at this new technology, he reads the sign on the next machine, THIS MACHINE PROVIDES WHAT MEN NEED MOST WHEN AWAY FROM THEIR WIVES $10.00.
He looks around to check there's no one about, then puts his money into the machine, unzips his fly and eagerly sticks his willy into the machine. The buzzing starts and the guy shrieks in agony, but he cant escape!
Fifteen seconds later, the machine shuts down and, with trembling hands he withdraws his manhood.............now with a button neatly sewn on the end!!

A guy is looking for a job and sees a sign in a store window that says "Salesman Wanted". So he goes into the store and talks to the manager. The manager asks him if he has any sales experience and he says "no". So the manager tells him that he has to pass a sales test and if he does, then he will hire him. The manager gives him a case of toothbrushes and sends the man out to sell them with the instructions to return when they are all sold.

The man walks back into the store in about 3 hours and hands the manager a handful of money and says that he has sold all the toothbrushes.

The manager agrees to hire him, and asks, "Since you sold these toothbrushes so fast as compared to other applicants, I just have to ask how you did it." The man tells the manager that he went to the airport, set up a table on the concourse and put up a sign that said "Free Crackers and Pâté". As people would walk by, he would offer them some. They would take a cracker and dip it in the Pâté and take a big bite. This was followed by a comment like: "This tastes like shit". To which the man replied: "Its shit; would you like to buy a toothbrush?"