An 80-year old man goes to the doctor for a checkup.
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, “How do
you stay in such great physical condition?"
I'm a golfer," says the old guy, "and that's why I'm in such good shape.
I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways."
" Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be
more to it. How old was your dad when he died?" "Who said my dad's dead?"
The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive. How old is he?"
"He's 100 years old," says the old golfer. "In fact he golfed with me
this morning, and that's why he's still alive . . .
he's a golfer too." "Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it
than that. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"
"Who said my grandpa's dead?"
Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfathers still living! Incredible, how old is he?"
"He's 118 years old," says the old golfer. .

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, "So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?" "No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married
today." At this point the doctor is close to losing it.
"Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?"

"Who said he wanted to?"

A man staggers into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Doctor asked; what happened to you? Well I was playing golf with my wife when we sliced our golf balls into a field of cows. I found one stuck in a cow’s fanny. I yelled to my wife "this looks like yours". I don't remember much after that...

A guy meets a woman o the golf course. They agree to play golf together the next day. They play and find that they have a lot in comm., so they decide to play golf together for the rest of the week. On the last day of golf they go out to dinner, have a wonderful meal and simulating conversation. Out in the parking lot of the restaurant, they kiss passionately. The guy says softly, “I want to make love to you, I want to be inside you!”
The woman says, “I have to tell you, I’m a transvestite.”
“You bitch!” yells the guy angrily. “You’ve been playing off the red tees!”

Bill and Bob are playing a golf match, Bill hit his golf ball first and it went FAAR into the woods and Bob laughed at him. Then Bob swung and hit his ball into the woods as well. So they both went into the woods to look for their golf balls. Bill found his in a patch of buttercups and just as he is starting to swing at the buttercups to hit the golf ball, POOF Mother Nature appeared and said stop swinging at my buttercups, Bill thought nothing of it and kept swinging. So Mother Nature said; fine if you won’t stop swinging at my buttercups “I would put a curse on you that you couldn’t have new butter for the rest of your life” and then she disappeared. Bill yelled for Bob to tell him what had just happened and Bob said hold on; my golf ball is in a patch of pussywillows so Bill says for heaven's sake Bob don’t swing