A boy came running up to his father and said, Daddy, Daddy, I’ve met the woman I want to marry! The father says, tell me about her son. The son says, well, she’s pretty, she can cook, and Daddy, Daddy, she's a virgin! The father says, well son, if she isn’t good enough for their family, then she isn’t good enough for ours.

A couple in the backyard…. The wife bends over to pick something up...Her husband looking at her behind says: 'wow, your ass is bigger than the bbq!' She gets upset and says; 'no, it's not.' A bit arguing and he gets a tape measure.
He measures the bbq and her butt and...Sure enough, her but is bigger than the bbq.
Silently she disappears into the house...that night - both in bed - he moves toward her and wants to have some fun. She says, “Do you think I’m going to fire up that big bbq for one little wiener???'

You might be a redneck if your family is half your town's population!

Q: Why is difficult to solve a redneck murder?
A: There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same.