Little Johnny runs into his house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," says his mom, "Of course not." Little Johnny runs back outside, and his mom hears him yell to his friend, "It's OK, we can keep playing!"

The science teacher stands in the front of the class and says, “children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?” Little Peter raises his hand and says, “I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porch.”
The teacher nods, and then calls on little Sally, who says, “I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Maserati.”
The teacher smiles, and then calls on Little Johnny. Johnny stands up and says, “I would want silicone.”
“Silicone? Why silicone?”
“Because my mom has two bags of the stuff and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!”

Little Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, “What’s that?” She says, “Well, it's a beaver, Johnny.”
The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says, “Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because its tongue is hanging out.”

The teacher was some months pregnant and as she stood in front of her 5th grade class Betty asks "why is your stomach swelled up?"
So she said can anybody tell me why my stomach is swelled up?
Jane said you were bit by a snake.
Billy said you were bit by a spider.
No, neither one of those is correct she said.
So Johnny said I know why teacher.
Okay, why Johnny?
You were bit by a trouser worm.