Joe was traveling between Phoenix and Ajo south of Gila Bend when a tire blew out. Checking the spare, he found that it too was flat. His only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town.
The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van. He yelled out the window, “Need a lift?” “Yes, I sure do,” Joe replied. “You a Republican or Democrat,” asked the old man. “Republican,” Joe said. “Well, you can go to heck,” yelled the old man as he sped off.
Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked the same question. Again, Joe gave the same answer; “Republican” the driver gave Joe the finger and drove off.
Joe though it over and decided that maybe he should change his strategy, since this area seemed to be overly political and there appeared to be few Republicans.
The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde. She smiled seductively and asked if Joe was a Republican or Democrat. “Democrat” Joe shouted “Hop in!” replied the blonde. Driving down the road, Joe could not help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next to him, the wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts, and a short skirt that continued to ride higher and higher up her thighs.
Finally, Joe yelled, “Please stop the car.” She immediately, slammed on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped Joe jumped out.
“What’s the matter,” she asked.
“I can’t take it anymore,” Joe replied. “I’ve only been a Democrat for five minutes and already I wan to screw somebody.”

The attractive young college junior was filing a report with the campus police regarding her encounter with an exhibitionist. “Those nuts always seem to bother the nicest, most innocent girls,” one officer said sympathetically.” “I’m terribly sorry you were exposed to this experience.” “Oh, that’s all right,” said the undergrad. “It was really no big thing.”

A man is pulled over by a police officer and his dog sniffs for drugs. The police officer goes over and says to the man, “My dog says you have weed in the car.”
The man responds, “Well I don’t know about that, but I want whatever got you talking to the dog!”

Jack and Paul two hard-core prisoners in the penitentiary were talking. Jack said: I’ve got two tickets for the warden’s ball. Do you want to buy one?’ ‘No thanks mate. I can’t dance.’ Said Paul. ‘It’s not a dance, it’s a raffle!’ said Jack.